I will publically admit it.
I gained 38 pounds when pregnant with Maddy.
I totally lied in the delivery room.
The nurse gave me a form ( a form?!) with "pre-preggo weight" and "current weight" spots. WHAT?! Seriously, what American-bred (vain) woman is going to answer the honest truth on either one of those lines?! So, what did I do? I lied for both of them. I made myself skinnier before I got pregnant, and attempted to make myself skinnier at the current time. So sue me. You're still getting paid. And you probably won't look at my answers. So shut up. It's making me feel better as this almost 8 pound baby is pressing against my cervix. She's the size of a watermelon, so I can put whatever the h*ll weight I want on that form. On MY floor we actually WEIGH the patients. You slackers.
The thing I love most about where I work is the familiarity I have with my patients, and that they have with me. As an Oncology *cancer* nurse, I really, really develop relationships with my patients being that they constantly are being hospitalized through out their illness. I had the privilage the other night of caring for a patient I knew WELL before I even got pregnant. I love this man. And he loves me. But it's totally "tough love." We bicker. We fight. But we love each other. =)
Even though he refers to me as "Nurse Ratchet," (from 'One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest') he won't take any other nurse when he knows I'm coming in that night. I've known this guy since BEFORE I was pregnant, in fact TRYING to get pregnant.
This is our TRUE conversation.
HIM: "Hey Steph. Got any new pics of Maddy?"
(**I show him pics).**
ME: "Isn't she so cute and chubby?!! I just love her!"
HIM: "She sure is. She takes after her mother. Hahah! Just kidding."
ME: "Thanks a lot you brat. I'm going to come in on the hour every hour to draw 'blood work.'"
HIM: "Just kidding! How much do you have left to lose? 15 pounds?"
ME: "Ummm...NO. Thanks. 12 pounds."
HIM: "That's practically 15. Remember when you were trying to get super skinny for Hawaii? You only had 5 pounds left to lose."
ME: "Thanks for reminding me. At least I lost it. You didn't think I could lose that last 5 pounds."
HIM: "And I don't think you can lose this last 15."
ME: "WHAT?! How rude. I will lose it. Just wait and see."
HIM: "I discouraged you the whole time before Hawaii, didn't I? And you lost it. Then what happened? You got pregnant and gained 40 pounds."
ME: ****Silence..........**** "Yea, but I've already lost 25. So leave me alone."
HIM: "I'm just saying....Watch out or you might get pregnant again and gain 60 pounds. Plus the extra 15 you're holding on to."
This is a typical relationship with my patients. Is this professional?
I love Maddy. Chubby mommy or not. =)